Thursday, March 26, 2009

The post you've all been waiting for

Last month we took a trip to Northern Ireland to see the divided streets of Belfast and the unspoiled, natural beauty of the Giant's Causeway. I suppose what happened on the bus ride between Sligo and Enniskillen could now be considered foreshadowing. I consumed way too much water for my own good that morning, despite being warned by the bus driver that there would be no toilet on the coach. After shifting around uncomfortably in my seat for ten minutes, I finally realized I couldn't take it anymore and had to ask my good friend Michael James Kelly to perform a block while I pissed in an empty plastic bottle and chatted casually with gfs Erin and Sam in front of me. All in all, it was a success, no one except the four of us knew it happened [until discussing it in pubs later that weekend], and I felt very relieved/glad I was born of the male sex. Little did I know that my crafty bathroom tactics would be topped ten-fold the next day by another good friend, Samuel W. Golenbock.

The Giant's Causeway is a beautiful, dramatic place of mythical proportions. UNESCO declared it a World Heritage Site back in 1986 and it is still heavily protected and conserved to this day. Unfortunately for our full-bladdered friend Sam, it is right on the ocean, so his discomfort turned into an emergency situation quickly. Here is what happened at the breaking point, captured on film by Mike Kelly:

And here are some stills:

How awesome is that wave crash in the first shot? Unlike my experience on the bus, everyone knew about this bathroom break within an hour, and now I am sharing it with the world because Sam is my friend and good friends publish embarrassing stories about you using the internet. The damage has been done for a month now anyway, but in his defense and as a disclaimer, Sam is resourceful, masculine, and a great buddy whose reputation I do not wish to destroy. If anything, he is 100% cooler for doing this. Cheers!

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